I'm such a liar. But can you blame me?
I copied and pasted the "Terms of Use" into a Word document, only to discover that it spans for 17 pages -- after I reduced the size of the text by 1 pt.
Of course I didn't read it. Are you kidding me? Who would?
And since the number of people who would is so small as to render them statistically insignificant, why can't companies who insist on putting us through this just use short, plain language?
Not to be mean, but this reminds me of the old joke that starts, "What do you call 50 lawyers at the bottom of a pool..." (See also Roger's post on his efforts to get a patent). - Cam Beck
A: a good start?
I'm not sure who is being served (no legal pun intended) by 17 pages of legaleze, either. I'm sure that on page 14, it says the consumer waives all rights to legal claims if, due to willful malice, your Word document reaches out and kills you. Somehow, I don't know that this stands up well in court. I'll yield to greater authority if someone else knows differently, of course.
Posted by: Stephen Denny | July 27, 2007 at 05:59 PM
"...the consumer waives all rights to legal claims if, due to willful malice, your Word document reaches out and kills you."
LOL! Yep. And don't forget "the consumer agrees to never use this website for the development of weapons of mass destruction."
Posted by: Cam Beck | July 27, 2007 at 08:40 PM
I, like you, am always a little uneasy whenever I click the "okay" box on a "Terms of Use" section. On the one hand, I want to dive into my new piece of hardware or software, and on the other, I don't want to totally give up my rights as a user. The "in a hurry" part of me wins every time.
Posted by: Roger von Oech | July 27, 2007 at 08:54 PM
I always wonder about these things. Honestly, they could write just about anything in there (especially on the 14th page) and we'd most likely agree.
For all I know, I've signed away my firstborn child at least a dozen times. If anything, there should be a quick summary at the top. 4 or 5 bolded lines that quickly highlight what you're waiving.
After that, I'm with Roger. We're already in "consume" mode and by then it's too late to scroll through a novel of legal documentation.
Posted by: Ryan Karpeles | July 27, 2007 at 09:10 PM
Ryan - If you haven't seen this one before, you've got to read it:
http://www.chaosscenario.com/main/2007/03/iwmd_why_no_one.html
Posted by: Cam Beck | July 27, 2007 at 09:16 PM
Roger - I am certain neither of us is unusual in that regard. I suspect it has something to do with frivolous lawsuits, but any way you look at it, lawyers are to blame.
Posted by: Cam Beck | July 27, 2007 at 09:17 PM
Sometimes I wonder what I'm signing, but I never read it. Way too lazy. By the way, Cam, I've written several times about plain language in my blog - it's one of my major pet peeves. Looks like something we have in common!
Posted by: Lisa Braithwaite | July 27, 2007 at 09:49 PM
It's funny that you wrote about this. I was actually signing up for something recently and took a minute to try to read a TOS. With so many ways these days that you can get your identity stolen, what these TOS' say really matter.
Posted by: Cord Silverstein | July 28, 2007 at 06:56 PM
"a minute"
You must be the fastest reader alive! :)
Seriously, though, can you provide a brief summary? Because I still am not going to read 17 pages of legal to sign up for their stupid newsletter.
Nope. Strike that. I'm not signing up for their newsletter.
Posted by: Cam Beck | July 28, 2007 at 09:32 PM
I'm not sure, but I think I recently agreed to give up a testicle if I ever disclose the source of my newfound super powers- it was part of the Terms I agreed to when I clicked that "I agree" button.
I can't think of a single person I've ever known who has read one of these things. I know I never have. One a few occasions, when feeling particularly sporty, I've skimmed through a few pages, but never the entire Bible-o-BS.
Oh well, when they come for that testicle, I'll let you know.
Posted by: Tim Jackson | July 29, 2007 at 12:58 AM
Darn, Cam, another fantastic post! I think the legalese is designed to wear you down; to bury you under reams of virtual pages; to annoy you with row after row of boring and unusual language, etc.
Disclaimer: anything I write in the comments of this blog is purely accidental and tied to the content of the blog's owner and should not be meant as a binding contract on my opinions as I am willing to change them.
Posted by: Valeria Maltoni | July 29, 2007 at 05:44 PM
Tim - Ouch. Please... I beseech you... Keep me OUT of the loop on that one. ;)
Valeria - You may be onto something there. They figure that by page 10, they can get you to agree to anything.
Do you remember the story of Rumplestiltzken? Perhaps that's how he got the young lady to agree to give up her firstborn... through reams and reams of legal copy. She had no idea when she agreed to his terms. She just wanted the ability to spin gold out of hay.
Posted by: Cam Beck | July 30, 2007 at 08:16 AM
Cam,
I close my eyes, say a little prayer and click on "I agree." Man, thank goodness most of us choose our spouses and significant others more carefully.
Posted by: Lewis Green | July 30, 2007 at 08:42 AM
Lewis,
Ha.Ha. Come to think of it, that's actually how I chose my wife: I skimmed the fine print.
Gannon
Posted by: Gannon Beck | August 02, 2007 at 07:35 PM